How should a civilian address a member of the military?

Why addressing a military member follows precise rules

How should a civilian address a military member? This is a question many people ask themselves without daring to admit it, for fear of making a blunder, seeming ignorant of proper etiquette, or unintentionally causing offense. Yet the rules are simple once you know them, and military personnel genuinely appreciate it when a civilian makes the effort to observe them.

In the French military, rank is much more than a title: it is the military member’s professional identity, the result of their career, efforts, and responsibilities. Addressing a military member by their rank is therefore above all a sign of respect for what they represent. This guide explains everything, from general to ordinary soldier, both orally and in writing.

The mystery of “mon”: where does it come from and when should it be used?

You have surely already heard “my general,” “my colonel,” or “my captain.” The “mon” preceding the rank is often misunderstood: it is not a possessive adjective indicating that the military member belongs to you! It is actually the abbreviation of “Monsieur,” as confirmed by the Académie française.

Ranks preceded by “mon”

“Mon” is used for officers and adjutants, but only when referring to a man. The ranks concerned are:

• My General (brigadier general, major general, lieutenant general, general)
• My Colonel (colonel and lieutenant colonel are both called “my colonel”)
• My Major
• My Captain
• My Lieutenant (second lieutenant and lieutenant)
• My Adjutant (adjutant and chief adjutant)

Ranks without “mon”

From the rank of sergeant upward, “mon” disappears. Simply address the military member by their rank, with or without their name:

• Sergeant / Staff Sergeant → “Sergeant” or “Chief” (the staff sergeant is commonly called “Chief”)
• Corporal / Chief Corporal → “Corporal” followed by the name
• Soldier / Seaman → “Monsieur” followed by the name, or simply the name

Special case: female military personnel

Since “mon” is the abbreviation of “Monsieur,” it does not apply to female military personnel. Address them directly by their rank, without “mon.” Thus, say “General,” not “My General,” and “Colonel,” not “My Colonel.” This rule applies equally to civilians and military personnel.

Summary table: how to address each rank

Here is the complete table of forms of address to use according to rank, whether you are a male or female civilian, orally or in writing.

Sources: Académie française — Ministry of the Armed Forces — Guide to Military Conduct.

How to address a member of the military in writing: letters and emails

Writing to a member of the military as a civilian follows precise rules, especially for an official letter or formal request. Here is the structure to follow.

The form of address at the beginning of a letter

The letter always begins with the form of address corresponding to the rank. Examples:

• For a general: “General,” (man) or “General,” (woman)
• For a colonel: “Colonel,”
• For a captain: “Captain,”
• For a non-commissioned officer: “Sergeant,”

Letter closing salutations

The closing salutation must exactly match the form of address. Here are the standard forms:

• General: “Please accept, General, the expression of my highest consideration.”
• Colonel: “Please accept, Colonel, the expression of my highest regards.”
• Captain/Lieutenant: “Please accept, Captain, the assurance of my respectful consideration.”
• Non-commissioned officer: “Please accept, Sergeant, the expression of my highest regards.”

The 6 mistakes to avoid at all costs

Even with the best intentions, it is easy to make a faux pas when addressing a member of the military. Here are the most common mistakes and how to avoid them:

• Simply saying “Sir” or “Madam” without mentioning the rank is the basic rule never to forget
• Calling a member of the military by their first name, unless the relationship is clearly informal and the service member has suggested it themselves
• Guessing the rank if you do not know it; politely ask: “May I know your rank, please?”
• Shortening the rank—saying “Lieut” for lieutenant or “Colonel” as “Colon”—is reserved for internal camaraderie
• Using “my” for a female member of the military is the most common mistake made by well-intentioned civilians
• Making jokes about the military or discipline during a first meeting should be avoided, even if the person seems relaxed

FAQ: Most frequently asked questions

Is a civilian required to use the rank when addressing a member of the military?

No, a civilian is not legally required to use the rank. According to official practice, civilians may address an officer by their rank without preceding it with “my.” Simply saying “Good morning, Captain” is perfectly correct for a civilian. Nevertheless, it is a highly appreciated mark of respect.

How should you address a member of the French Navy?

The French Navy is a special case: it does not use “my” in its internal forms of address. For a civilian, the usual practice is to address naval officers as “Mr.” followed by their surname, except for admirals and commanders, for whom the rank alone is used.

How should you address a retired member of the military?

An honorary military member (retired) keeps their rank for life. It is therefore perfectly correct and appreciated to continue addressing them by their rank: “My Colonel,” “My General,” and so on. This is a widespread practice in circles where veterans regularly interact with civilians.

Conclusion

How should a civilian address a member of the military? In summary: always use the rank; precede it with “my” for male officers and warrant officers; omit “my” for women and non-commissioned officers from the rank of sergeant onward. In writing, take care with the salutation and closing courtesy. Above all, do not hesitate to politely ask for the rank if you do not know it—it is infinitely better than getting it wrong.

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